My old air conditioner is getting really loud right now

I don’t like sharp or sudden loud noises, regardless of the origin.

  • While I was doing my tours of duty overseas, I was extremely close to an IED explosion that killed several of my men.

Between the noise and the near death experience, I haven’t been the same since and probably never will. Even just hearing a loud car engine from afar is enough to get my brain spinning again amid all of those old triggers from before. It’s the mere association with the original trauma source that is enough to put me in a state of panic out of nowhere. Getting put in a fight or flight response is common when dealing with apparent triggers like this. With that in mind, I try to avoid unnecessarily loud noises at home if absolutely necessary. I don’t shoot off guns anymore because of the association with my time overseas. I loved guns until I was tasked to kill people with one. But it’s not just obvious triggers like gunshots that get me upset. Even my old and noisy air conditioner often gives me alarm in the middle of the night if it manages to wake me up out of a dead sleep when it starts cycling again. Sometimes the noises it creates while cycling is enough to get my heart racing because some part of the brain is thinking it’s in existential danger again. That’s the real reason I’m negotiating the installation of a brand new air conditioner right now. I want a quiet HVAC system that doesn’t trigger me and my PTSD symptoms like the current one.

 

Hot water boiler

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